I live an idealistic life..

One month on.

2007-07-25T13:24:00.000Z

Wow. Just realised that I haven't blogged in a whole MONTH! Amazing. But no. I'm actually just lazy to blog. There isn't anything to talk/bitch about. Even if I had, putting it up on a blog will sort of make things worse so there's no points. Haha!

Anyway, just some updates. I'm teaching in RI right now. Relatively useless information since those who read my blog ALREADY know that I'm working there. I have to say that RI does make full use of their relief teachers. They trust them. A lot. Too much is probably a better term though. I practically take over the teacher's full duties with the exception on being a form teacher and a CCA teacher-in-charge. I even take over her project work duties as teacher-mentor and her invigilation duties. Feels like I'm being over-worked considering my dear girlfriend is teaching the same subject and the same level but she gets paid more with OT pay as well! Yet, I don't feel that way somehow. I'm enjoying it in fact. I like being a relief teacher. Somewhat stuck between the students and the teachers. You're still "young" enough to remember your own days as a secondary school student so you know what sort of torture the kids are going through, yet you're "old" enough to understand how the teachers feel. It's a really weird combination I have to say. When the kids get closer to you, they talk more to you and somewhat "complain" to you about other teachers. Whereas in the staff room, the teachers are talking about the students and how naughty they can be. Who's in between?! Relief teachers! Although I am being over-worked as a relief teacher compared to other doing the same job as me in other schools, I like the responsibility that RI has given me. Makes me feel useful for once. And I feel I can contribute productively and effectively back.

Just finished marking my classes' math common test results. Haven't given it back to them yet, but I'm very pleased with my so-called "lousiest" class. From having only 8 who passed in their last class test, now only 8 failed. And those 8 are the ones who really don't bother so it's no surprise. What's more is that there are even some student who got full marks. Something which my "mid-range" class didn't even achieve. Not bad I have to say. Considering that I've only taught them for less than 3 weeks and was even on MC for 2 days because of food poisoning.

Another interesting thing that happened recently. Someone in my life (and by that it doesn't necessarily have to mean someone close) is really very deluded. I'm not close enough to help and neither am I willing to help. The problem is that this particular person keeps thinking he/she is right and often puts the blame on others when clearly there is something wrong with himself/herself. People get blamed for avoiding him/her but the real reason is that his/her character/words is the one that is slowly pushing people away. Moral of the story. Choose your friends carefully. This friend, I can do without in my life. And it wouldn't even make as much as an impact as a raindrop falling on my head. I guess some people may like you but other don't. But it really doesn't harm to assess yourself to pick put some of your own shortcomings. Better still, be open to criticisms and learn/improve from them (so happen this particular person cannot stand being talked back. Bad combination). Maybe I should stop preaching and actually do it myself. Haha. Well, at least I know I have friends who'll gladly tell me off when I step on their toes.

I know I promised pictures. Forgive me. I'm lazy. At the moment, teachers do have better things to do. Although a lot of them are surfing YouTube and chatting on MSN during office hours. Haha!

Back in the land of perpetual humidity!

2007-06-25T18:12:00.000Z

Finally! After 9 long grueling months, I'm back home! I have to say I am pretty happy to see my family again after so long. Had my first taste of prata in 9 months too so that certainly made me happy. Shall whack the other unhealthy food in the next few days. Haha!

Anyway, I was in Bangkok earlier in the day for a transit and 2 incidents really made me realise "Shit Ting Jun! You're REALLY home!" First, I was in the waiting area ready to board the plane. I was seating on a spanking new metal bench (because of Thailand's new airport) reading my book and minding my own business. Suddenly, this idiot came up to the next seat and slammed his file of papers on it. Being metallic, it vibrated (duh!). So, obviously, I was disturbed and I looked at the paper all over the floor and then at him. The idiot stared at me and said,"Excuse me. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?!" Woah. I felt like punching him. But I kept my calm. Singaporeans have a knack for doing such things. So being the gentleman, I just ignored him and went back to reading my book. That's case 1.

On board the plane, I was lucky to be seated next to a young, not-too-bad looking Japanese lady. But on the other side of the aisle, was a whole family of elderly ah bengs and their ah lian wives. Oh my goodness. They were so loud when they talked and it was just pure annoying. This indian/british lady in front of the ah lian aunty reclined her chair while the aunty was still eating. The ah beng husband, in his broken english and somewhat "polite" singlish, asked her to put her seat up again because his wife was eating. A small commotion, and the indian lady put her seat upright again but with a black face. Soon after the food was collected, the indian lady reclined her seat again. This time, Mr ah beng told her to put her seat back upright because he claims that the seat was hitting his wife's knee causing her great pain. From what I saw, Mrs ah lian's seating position was asking for it. Woah. BIG commotion and a quarrel began. Sheesh. The ugly side of Singaporeans. I was so tempted to go up to the lady and tell her that not all Singaporeans are like that and hope that she'll still enjoy her stay on this island. Some people really do spoil our image.

I particularly hate the file guy. He's annoying and he thinks he's still right. Wanted to tell him in his face, "I'm sorry. I don't have a problem. But clearly you do." and just walk away. I wonder how he would have felt. Haha!

Oh well. All the above happened before I even stepped on Singapore soil. Amazing isn't it? I'm quite a critic of Singaporean behaviour because I just don't understand how my fellow citizens can be so selfish, apathetic and bo chup sometimes. I guess we are good in doing some stuff (like overseas student doing better than their counterparts) but maybe we need a bit more education on our moral upbringing.

Enough of complaining. I shall load up the Greece pictures when I have the time. As for now, I'm combating jet-lag.

Prelude to Greece.

2007-06-11T23:39:00.000Z

Went out over the weekend and guess what we did. We bought straw hats! Looks silly but I sure hope it'll serve its purpose in Greece! If not, it'll be a waste of ten pounds. Haha! Oh well. It's all in the name of fun anyway!

Post-exams celebration

2007-06-10T23:23:00.000Z

Wow. Exams are over in flash. Of course while I was having my exams it felt like eons before everything was over. It's only been 2 days since my last paper but it feel like my summer is near the end. I dunno why. Hahaha! Maybe it's the kan cheong spider in me coming out. Yeah. I think I should just relax and enjoy Greece before heading back home to my family and friends. I can't wait. Haha! Another 2 more weeks! Woohoo!

Anyway, while I was in the shower a few days ago, I suddenly thought about this. Is Michael Scofield going to save Paris Hilton in the next season of Prison Break? HAHAHA! Silly thought. But maybe that's why Paris' timing to enter prison is so good. Just nice for filming for season three. Haha! My imagination goes wild sometimes. Hehe!

Anyway, I bought a straw hat today in preparation for Greece. Cost me ten pounds. Hope I don't regret it! Haha! I intend to use it in Sojourn too. Let all those freshers laugh at their OGL. Haha! Wow. I'm even indirectly referring to myself as SENIOR. Shit. I don't think I had enough of first year and now it's second year. Everyone tells me there's a huge gap between first and second years. Getting freaky. Considering how I struggled a bit this year, I think I need to buck up for next year. Ok. Enough about school and stuff.

Shall try and post up some pictures soon. Nothing much happening though. Oh well. Hope everyone did well for their exams. Those having exams now - JIA YOU!

Exams

2007-05-27T23:24:00.000Z

First time in my life where I've studied so much that the stuff that I remembered earlier on leaks out of my brain. Haha! I guess that's university for you. Just too much to take in at one time. And maybe that's why it's so hard to get a first class in a top university. Oh well. I just hope I can do well and get a first class for this year. It'll be a good morale booster after stupid NS.

22 in slightly more than a week's time. Old man. Sigh. No longer a kid anymore and that sucks. I feel like going back to primary school. Haha! Ok, maybe not.

London weather is REALLY terrible. I mean, I JUST bought ice-cream last week because it was so freaking hot and guess what?! No prizes though. IT STARTED TURNING COLD! WHAT. THE. HELL. It's so freaking cold it feels like winter all over again. SHEESH! Four seasons in one week. Even the duck in Four Seasons when it was alive didn't fly that fast to cover the distance from London to Australia. Sigh. Ice-cream shall come into use for cheering myself up after I screw up my papers. Haha.

Materials. So much to remember. So little time and space.

Don't like mugging.

Period.

I hope...

2007-05-21T22:54:00.000Z

1) I' M NOT BURNING OUT!! Didn't even feel this way during A levels. Why now? Oh man. University SURE is tough. Whoever said like in university is easier than in JC is SO DAMN WRONG!

2) Liverpool wins on Wednesday! I really hope they do.

3) I can go home earlier! I miss my family. A lot.

4) The weather in Greece will be good in mid June.

5) I hope I can do well for my exams.

That's it for now. Turning 22 in 2 week's time. Wow. I am old. Shit. Still behaving like a kid. Time to grow up man. Literally. MAN.

It's all about how it's built.

2007-05-17T22:18:00.000Z

Tested my structure last Tuesday. Started in the first term and after long hours calculating the stresses, designing the structure on ProE and actually manufacturing it personally, we reached the testing stage. I have to say that I'm quite happy with the results. Didn't hit the max load but it was close enough. Not too bad a merit function either. But compared to the rest of the Singaporeans I think I've got the worst results. What's new. Applies to everything and every subject. Makes me feel stupid sometimes. It's been some time since I felt like I was the worst in class. Since sec 3 I think. Oh well, I better used to it.

Anyway, I digressed. Back to the topic. Yeah, I was happy with the result and I think my partner felt the same way. I guess even a simple triangular structure is quite hard to make and there's so many calculations and designing to do. Imagine doing it for the entire aircraft. Madness. I don't even want to start thinking about it. I guess that's why I don't really want to go into engineering as a profession in the future. Work long hours, use up all your brain juice and get paid lesser than say an investment banker who works the same long hours.

Ok, I digressed again. Back to structures. Did a structures past year paper today. Nearly died doing it. I did a few papers already and I thought my structures wasn't too bad. Until today. Its just terrible! But I have to admit the paper was quite tough and quite unexpected. Sheesh. I cursed and sweared like a million times while doing the paper and I think Xiufang was quite irritated. Oh well. Black face after that. I think my theory isn't good and I need to brush up on it. I wonder if I still have the time to do that. Still have materials to memorise. Will leave that to next week. Sigh. Another topic that I don't like. But, what to do. Suck it in and just do it. Like all Singaporeans do. I don't know how to get a first class here and I'm worried. Don't want to waste my parents' money and get a second upper. Might as well pack my bags and go home to NUS/NTU. At least it's justifiable to be stupid there with all the PRCs and heavy workload.

Ok. I'm bitching. Maybe I should change the topic to bitching. It's more appropriate. But I like this disguise. Then everyone reading this would know. Haha!

My structure before it got bent out of shape.

FOOD!

2007-05-16T22:51:00.000Z

Been busy revising and doing papers lately. Just got back from the library actually. And it's scary how I can actually think to myself that the library is the place for cool people. I think I'm turning into a NERD. Now that's scary. I guess Imperial College does have that effect on people. I really wonder if I chose the right college sometimes. Haha.

On a lighter note, I've been practicing and perfecting my culinary skills! Every weekend I'll go over to XF's place to cook. Firstly, I want to cook. Secondly, she's too lazy to cook. Third, I want to eat good food after a whole week of studying so I feel I deserve a treat! Anyway, below are some of the stuff that we've cooked so far.

Fried Rice with Chicken.

Believe it. I cooked this! Muahaha!

Beef with black bean sauce and bell peppers.

On the menu this week is tom yam soup! Hopefully it'll turn out nice. Hahaha! At least I know I can try another profession if engineering doesn't work out.

I love studying!

2007-05-10T08:45:00.000Z

For some reason, university is one HUGE step from A level. And I'm struggling to keep pace. Sigh. Who ever said Singaporeans will have little problems? I beg to differ.

Oh well. Lesson time.

The ONLY lesson I have left.

Shall try to post up some pictures soon. When I have the time. Haha!

Almighty Liverpool!

2007-05-01T23:32:00.001Z

It's been such a long time since I've watched a full football match and I'm glad I watch this one! Liverpool vs Chelsea UEFA Champions League Semi-Final Second Leg. Exciting match which ended at 1-0 to Liverpool at full time. On aggregate it was 1-1 so there was extra time and eventually penalties which Liverpool won 4-1!

YEAH! WE KICK CHELSEA'S RICH STINKING ASS!!!!

A heart full of passion will always beat a pocket full of money.

Well done fellows! But try to end the games sooner yeah? My heart is getting too old for such intensity. Haha!

Cooking

2007-04-29T23:20:00.000Z

I like to cook. I used to think it was a chore but now i really enjoy it. Although I still am quite lazy to cook but when I actually do, I like to whip up a good meal. I have to say that my "recipe book" is still very limited (I can practically count the number of dishes I can cook) but it's growing.

Xiufang and I have made it a point to cook something nice every weekend to boost our morale from studying and also to fill our hungry stomachs from a week of lousy food. At least for me that is because I eat Linstead Hall's famous (or infamous) catered dinners. But even that is getting better in my opinion. Maybe I'm just greedy. Haha!

Need everything to pull you through revision and exams. If food is the answer then so be it! I can lose my weight back home in Singapore. Sigh. Speaking of exams again. Depressing. I haven't done much since school reopened and I feel guilty. Yes, it's the nerd inside me talking. But seeing everyone study so hard freaks me out. Maybe I should stop comparing and just go about doing my own things.

Hmm.

Maybe I should.

Everyday I can't stop thinking about Greece. I just can't wait to hit the white sandy beaches, dressed in shorts, t-shirt, slippers, a straw hat together with my sunglasses! We've already decided to each buy a straw hat just for kicks! Haha! I'm so in a beach mood nowadays that I trot in and around campus in t-shirt, shorts and slippers. Typical Singaporean dress code. Miss those times. And I'm looking forward to that too!! Just can't wait to go to Greece and back home after that.

I just can't WAIT!

2 months just seem like such a long time. So long it's killing me slowly.

And if you realised. My blogging has become more frequent nowadays. It's because I'm bored! Hahaha!

Revision.

2007-04-27T16:53:00.000Z

Everyone dreads that word. Who doesn't is a freak of nature. Period.

It's that time of the year again. No, it isn't Christmas or Chinese New Year. IT'S EXAM TIME! WOOHOO! Exciting isn't it? I'm being plain sarcastic. Who likes exams is a freak as well.

Had a scare today during thermodynamics lecture. It was a revision class and the lecturer came in with 2 questions prepared. I haven't revised that topic so I didn't really remember the equations. Fine. Forgivable. Then for the second part of the question I followed the lecturer's method on the board and got totally thrown off. In the end, i got the same answer for a much simpler method, or short cut as you would say. And that's how I've been doing my tutorials all along. Phew. Big scare. I thought my thermodynamics was screwed up because all along it's been one of those subjects that I actually could do the tutorials so I'm hoping to do well for it. HOPEFULLY.

Anyway, I'm scared for exams. The seniors keep saying year one can slack. That's true to some extent, but if you put in consistent work there really isn't much time to slack around at all. There's always something to do like project, ProE, tutorials or just meetings. Sigh. In a flash, year one has passed and I don't think I've gained much from it except the fact that Imperial is highly competitive and I'm not enjoying it one bit. And the worst thing is that I have to compete with scholars too. I hate it. Thoroughly. Maybe coming to Imperial was a wrong choice. Nothing but punch a big hole in my morale.

Oh well. I'm bitching. Ignore me. Boohoo.

A haircut. Simple isn't it?

2007-04-25T19:10:00.000Z

Apparently not. So I found out today at the hair studio of Vidal Sasson. I went for a model cut which puts me under the scissors of Vidal Sasson academy student. My hair, for goodness sake, was in jeopardy! Couldn't believe I decided to go for this. I guess it was worth 4.50 pounds. Haha.

Having lived in Singapore all my life (well, most of it actually), I frequently visit the malay barber or chinese style hair salon. The barbers or hairstylists NEVER took more than 20min to get my hair done. Today a new record was set in my life. Two hours and forty-five minutes. Amazing. And I actually sat there without even reading a book or a magazine or whatever. I just set there looking at the student meticulously cutting and snipping my hair.

Amazing.

However, for some reason, I actually felt at ease with this student. He seemed to know what he was doing and the way he carefully cuts my hair just proves me right. Plus, the teacher was constantly guiding the student and correcting their techniques, posture or even their hair-blowing techniques. Pretty impressive. I never knew there was so much into A haircut. Obviously the malay barber don't care cause to him time is money. But to these students, it's a rare opportunity to learn and to show their teacher what have they actually learnt in the past few months. I was lucky to get a student who's graduating in a month's time so he's pretty experienced for an amateur. And the way the teacher describes how the hair should look like tells a lot about a hair dresser. Totally changed my impression of them. It's not some lowly paid job for people who didn't receive enough education to become a doctor or a lawyer. It's a job that requires vision, foresight, imagination, creativity, impeccable technical skills and also the passion for making someone else look good. All these traits put into one hair cut. And just think of the endless combinations of hair you can get! There's long, short, curly, straight, thick, thin, frizzy, healthy, damaged...the possibilities are endless. And so should their imagination and creativity. Plus, it makes it harder to match creativity with your hair type to make your hair look good.

I admire these people. They aren't afraid of being stereotyped. Now I know there's more into a hair cut than just sitting there for a snip.

Of course, I had two hours and forty-five minutes to think about all this. I guess ultimately I was bored still. Hah.

School and ranting

2007-04-24T16:54:00.000Z

It's unbelievable. The easter holidays have ended and I'm back in school again attending lessons. I guess some things just don't change. And that include my materials lecturer NOT coming for lessons. Seriously, it's another month to m first paper (which happens to be materials i think) and he/she still doesn't want to come for lectures! I mean, it's just SO irresponsible. Unless, which i doubt it, they have already finished the entire syllabus for this year but we don't know about it. Like I said, I don't think so. They've been like that the entire of last term and it sure doesn't help us one bit. Not to mention the lousy tutorials they give. Hardly any questions in it and there's nothing to do at home. How to prepare for exams?! I won't be surprised if some of my coursemates fail this paper or just do badly. Hopefully I won't be one of them.

Sigh.

Housing. Another pain in the ass. Got to move out of Linstead by 23rd June and I need to find a house for next year. At least I know I've got my housemates already so it's just a matter of finding an apartment. Calling apathetic agents, viewing apartments and psychoing seniors to pass their house to us is the norm. Oh well, someone has to do it and in a way I'm quite glad that I can play a part considering I'll be staying with 2 exco members and a whole bunch of other scholars. Haha! No link I know, but they're my friends and family here so there's no one else I would wanna live with. Plus, I do have SOME knowledge on property and stuff though it isn't really useful in rentals. Haha! But whatever that gets me the house.

Ok. Rant over. Dinner time. Ciao.

I'm LAZY. AGAIN!

2007-04-22T22:53:00.000Z

Ok. I haven't really been posting. Been studying the past few weeks and it's terrible! I haven't studied so much in the last THREE years and it sure is hard to pick up the momentum again. Sigh. But what to do. Just got to do it. Anyway, back to my trip.

Instead of going to Stephan's place in the mountains, we went to a nearby ski resort which is 30min drive away from his house and went sledging instead! Just use plain bin bags to slide down and it was pure fun! Definitely not as fun as skiing but still fun! For some reason I just couldn't get all the way down and always end up "stalling" half way down. It's quite funny. Haha!

On the Monday of our trip we went to Zurich and Bern. Zurich is the capital of Switzerland and it's on the German side of Switzerland. So is Zurich. Pretty interesting places though we didn't see a lot it because of our time constraint.

Bern's famous for it bears. But they weren't there when we went for some odd reason. There were supposed to be three bears. Two weren't there for some unknown reason. The third one was missing because..

The next day we went to Luzern and Interlaken. Luzern is very pretty and is often described as what Switzerland should look like. We visited the famous Water Tower and walked around a bit. Again, couldn't do much due to the time. Interlaken was quite boring though. Had to pay to go higher and it was damn expensive so we skipped it, plus it was getting late and we just stayed for an hr or so then we left.

On the last day, Stephan's mum was very kind to prepare cheese fondue for us. It's melted cheese together with white wine in a pot over a heat source and you eat it with bread. Apparently the meal cost quite a bit and we were really thankful for his mum and her hospitality!

Well. That's about everything to say for this trip. Really a good break although we didn't do much sight-seeing. I think next time we shouldn't bother other families. Just felt quite uncomfortable living off other people although Stephan's family was really nice to us. Oh well. Exams to conquer first. Then I'll be off to GREECE!!! I can't wait!! And the best part is, after Greece, it's SINGAPORE! Another TWO more months and I'll be home to family, friends, food, sun, sand and sea!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!

I'm LAZY!

2007-04-09T22:50:00.000Z

Ok. I haven't been blogging in a very long time. I've just been TOO lazy and now I've finally gotten down to it. There's really nothing much in my life to talk about so I'll just blabber whatever I can think of.

The easter holidays started 2 weeks ago and it has been fun so far! I guess the highlight was my easter trip to Switzerland. Stephan and his family were very kind to put us up for an entire week and I cannot be more grateful to them (considering lodging and food were, erm, "paid for"). His mum was particularly nice to us and she's perpetually feeding us with good food and desserts. I'm damn sure I gained a few pounds during that week! Haha! Anyway, here's some pictures with his house in it.

When we arrived, the first place Stephan brought us to was Lake Geneva. I think the world's biggest fountain is situtated there. In english it's called the Jet of Water. Haha! The weather was really good and the sun was very welcoming considering the shit weather I was getting in London before I left. The best part is the refreshing air! My goodness! The air in Switzerland is super fresh and stepping outside just refreshed you somehow.

Anyway, day 2. We drove to Mont Blanc/Chamonix. As you may already know, Mont Blanc is the tallest mountain in Europe while Chamonix is a very famous ski resort which happens to be very expensive as well! We were supposed to go up one of the mountains but the ticket cost too much. It's actually a one-day ski pass so we figured it wasn't worth it. We spent the money having a good French lunch instead!

Getting lost even with a GPS. Hah!

I THINK that's Mont Blanc. Not sure.

After our Mont Blanc trip, Stephan drove up this hill nearby Geneva for a good view of the entire city.

The second day we were supposed to go up to Stephan's family's apartment in the mountains but we had to postpone the trip because of bad weather. Quite a pity because that was the highlight of our entire trip and it had to be cancelled. Sigh. We went to visit the UN instead. Nothing much there. The person bringing us around talked a lot and for some reason the other people in my group like to ask questions which just makes things even more boring. But anyway, it's not everyday that you get to step into the UN. Haha!

Ok. I feel like stopping now. Shall continue another time.

My Boo and holidays!

2007-03-26T00:19:00.000Z

This song's been stuck in my head ever since I heard it last week.

Hope you're enjoying yourself in Spain! Have fun shopping in all the Zara shops! Haha! It's only been less than a day and I miss you already! Bleah.

To Ben, Ziyang and Edwin > Have fun in Italy and Greece! Will see you guys in 2 weeks!

To Astee, Darius, Keng Seng and Hao Jun > Espanyol! Have loads of fun there! Luckily our trips coincide! Then I don't have to worry about cooking! Haha!

To Ben Tay > You better be living it up in Singapore dude! Haha! Hope you u're having fun eating all the unhealthy char kuey teow and sambal sting ray and all the other nonsense!

Oxford trip!

2007-03-25T23:46:00.000Z

Xiufang and I went to Oxford a few days ago. I have to say, the place isn't as nerdy as I thought it would be. Haha! Kidding. It's pretty nice and scenic though, definitely a breath of fresh air compared to stifling London. We went to Bicester Village which sells branded stuff at outlet prices so we got quite a good deal of all the stuff we bought. Thoroughly enjoyed ourselves (and that includes skipping thermodynamics lecture in the morning) that day and it was just the two of us having fun by ourselves! Totally loved it!

A map of the town centre.

One of the main roads in Oxford.

We're just being silly. Haha!

It's a good start but hopefully a good end too.

2007-03-18T00:30:00.000Z

Haha! If YOU happen to read this. Don't worry it's not about YOU or US. Heh. The good start was talking about us but the end is about Major Event. I can't wait for Major Event to end. Seriously I feel that it's quite time consuming. However, I think that I have learnt a lot from this experience and how to work with people better. So maybe it's not that bad an experience after all. If there's one thing I can take away from all the preparation and meetings is FAITH. I've learnt to have faith in people and to trust them more but yet still draw a clear line between trusting too much and not trusting at all. In the past, I used to be very naggy at people who come late but all along there hasn't been anyone late for practices and stuff and that has really impressed me. To those in the band who happens to come across my blog, thanks to you all for all your contribution and sacrifice. Your efforts didn't not go unrecognised in my eyes, although sometimes I feel that SOME people tend to overlook our efforts and just take us for granted, just paying attention to the actors and others. Hopefully we'll have chances to work with each other in the future!

Lastly, to my dearest (and to those who haven't already guessed it!), I'm glad that we can be together and hopefully we'll never have to have a "good end". Hehe.

Wicked disappointment

2007-03-14T23:28:00.000Z

Just realised that I have been blogging in quite some time. Lacking an update and since tonight I really don't feel like doing any tutorials I've decided to blog. Not the best thing to do in my opinion but oh well, there's no other option. Haha! The past week was tiring. Trying to rush my computing programs and report isn't very fun. Not even close. Plus there was Ultimate regionals which I only played for one out of two days. It wasn't as fun as I expected it to be and again I put up quite a disappointing performance. I guess it's because I haven't been part of competitive sports all my life and I lack that competitive spirit in me so I buckle under competition pressure. Guess that's just something I've gotta learn. Sigh.

Last Monday (yes i know, it's damn long ago) I went with Ben, Lipen, William, Feng Yi and Xiufang to watch Wicked. Like Japan Centre, those who have yet to watch it, PLEASE DO SO! It's simply amazing! I've always said that Lion King was good for props and for the stage while Les Miserable was good for their singing and acting. Combine these 2 musicals together and you'll get Wicked! And not forgetting an excellent storyline which shows the the true story of the witches in Wizard of Oz. Had a great time watching the musical and here's some pictures we took!

The dragon on top of the stage.

Xiufang, me and Ben.

The whole bunch of us!

Today we just had our Singsoc AGM and I have to say I felt a sense of loss, pride and disappointment. Let me explain. I felt a sense of loss because it was quite sad to see the old executive committee stepping down. I thought they did quite a good job and I enjoyed working with them in major event. They're all very nice people and all willing to give that 110% to the society which I think is commendable. I truly appreciate their efforts. Hearing Cummarran's (don't know if I got the spelling right) speech, it really dawned on me that being in Singsoc isn't just about having friends and establishing contacts or even having that "family" in London. It is about knowing your roots as a Singaporean and where you belong. It was a rather touching speech I have to say although it got a bit draggy towards the end. Haha! Now, for disappointment. The first form of disappointment for me is the lack of presidential candidates. Only Hao Jun sent in a manifesto and there were so many people who rejected the nominations. There wasn't much of a choice though I personally felt there were individuals out there who could have stood a good chance. The really shocking part is that so many people wanted to run for vice-president! I mean, to me it shows that people don't want the responsibility of a president but yet they want the power and control, which I felt is even more disappointing than he lack of presidential candidates. I am so glad that Hao Jun became vice president and I truly believe he can do a good job. He's probably more suited to be vice president than president since he himself said he's more people-orientated than task-orientated. Another disappointing fact is the divide between the first years. On the surface, everyone seems to know one another and we're all one big happy family. But in reality it's not. Clearly evident in the new 8 member EXCO, half belong to Linstead, 3 from Wilson House and Elaine who's as good as being a part of Linstead. I'm disappointed that no one from Evelyn Gardens wanted to run for any position. It just feels like we're neglecting them and not including them as part of our family when it's definitely not the case. Also, practically half the year one attendance was from Linstead, another 1/3 from Wilson and some other people from other halls. Note that I am grouping people by their halls here because that's just how things work here - everyone hangs out in their own cliques. The last disappointment would have to be myself. I'm disappointed with myself because I dare not to take that extra step or the prospect of sacrificing my time for Singsoc though I really wish to contribute back to the society. That's why I didn't run for anything. Also, I wanted to give my full support to Hao Jun so if I ran, it would have made things quite weird and even worse, cause a divide among our own Linstead gang which I didn't want. This was until some smart ass decided that I should be Liaison Officer just so that Linstead can "own" the elections and hence I got nominated. This leads to the next disappointment with myself. I simply give in to peer pressure so easily. People say I should then I also stupidly say yes. Got to change that part of me. After making that short speech I started regretting agreeing to the nomination. And after Jeremy (the ex-Liaison Officer) told me what his job really is about, I got super turned off and really hope I didn't win. Luckily I didn't win because if I did, I probably wouldn't have done a good job and I would totally regret it. It's probably better than Chong U won because I think he's more enthusiastic about being in the EXCO than I am.

Oh well. Enough bitching. I'm quite glad that the new EXCO turned out alright and is not filled with potentially incompetent people. With people like Jiaxuan, Astee, Hao Jun and Ziyang forming half the committee, I can safely say that Singsoc is in good hands. Hope you guys will do a good job yeah?

Ok. Now I'm really confused.

2007-03-05T23:59:00.000Z

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Seriously. If you're trying to make me stop liking you I'm afraid that you're actually on the path of success. You ask me why I've been feeling sad today. I really don't know how to answer because I'm in no position to feel that way. What you told me last week and your actions lately speak differently. You seem to treat someone else better. Fine. I'm jealous. I don't deny it. What exactly do you want to do with me? Am I just like your toy so are you really seriously thinking about it? You say you don't want me to get hurt but each day it seems to get even worse. Yet, I still fall deeper and deeper for you. Ironic? Yes I think so too. Because I'm confused. Or rather, you're making me confused. As of the weekend, I was sure. As of today, I'm not and maybe that's why I've been feeling sad the whole day. I felt like I lost you today and I seriously felt that way. It was a lousy feeling.

Maybe I'm thinking too much. But that's because I care for you. Everything I've said is true and I mean it. It may seem "flowery" but I can't think of any other way to put it across. Believe it or not it's up to you. All I want is......is it really that hard?

Right now, I'm drinking alone in my room hoping I can fall asleep the moment my head touches the pillow so I wouldn't have to think about unhappy things. I'm tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Don't believe that happy and nonsensical face you see everyday. Sometimes I'm just putting up a front. Just wish that I have a shoulder to cry on sometimes and I would very much like that shoulder to be yours.

Boo~

In response to you.

2007-03-03T00:25:00.000Z

I know how you feel. And I'm very sure you know how I feel. I'm sorry for being late and for what happened in the past. I can't change the past but I can try to make the future better. I would very much like that to happen because I can see a future together. I hope you'll give me a chance because my feelings are true. I want you to be happy so do what your hearts tells you to.

Has this occured to you before?

2007-03-01T00:19:00.000Z

Have you ever liked someone only to find out later that he/she has liked you before but has since stopped liking you already? The timing is just "EXCELLENT" isn't it? But that's just a fact of life. Nothing ever seems to go your way no matter how you hope, wish, pray or beg. I was just thinking about this question earlier and if I were in such a situation I would really go bang my head against the wall. Haha!

Anyway, here's what I did over the weekend. Went out with Xiufang on Saturday to Oxford Street and the day ended with a nice dinner at Japan Centre. The food's excellent and so is the company!

I don't really have much to say. And even if I do have things I want to say, I don't think I can post it on my blog. Too bad.

Here's some pictures.

XF being her piggy-self as usual!

I don't know why she took a picture of me
drinking tea. Weird.

My dinner.

Her dinner.

If you haven't been to Japan Centre to eat, please do so! The food's really good and the portions they give aren't too bad. If you don't mind the slightly expensive price, it's a good restaurant to go to!

Hmmm...?!?!

2007-02-25T14:52:00.000Z

I don't know what the heck I'm doing. Really. Conflicting thoughts running through my head all the time. I think I'm confused. No. Wait. I AM confused. I know I shouldn't be doing this or even thinking about it but yet I still do and even worse, I harbour hope. I hate myself for feeling this way all the time. I must really learn to be cold and not be soft-hearted.

Does it even remotely make sense? I'm just uttering rubbish. Ignore me. =P

Things I've thought about since I woke up

2007-02-24T11:32:00.000Z

Random post. Got a little bit inspired to blog after reading everyone's blog just now. Still wondering how come people found my blog. Was intending to keep it to myself. Oh well. Too late!
Here's some of the thoughts that actually ran through may head since I got up. It's 11.34am now and i got up one and half hours ago.

1) Shit. Lab report.
2) Yay! I'm going out later!
3) Hopefully the silly English weather can hold up and not rain because I want some disc action.
4) I'll actually be more than 1Km radius away from the aero department later in the afternoon. This is SO exciting!
5) Shit. Lab report.
6) I think I shall blog today.
7) I think I shall blog now!
8) (While sitting in the toilet) I think I shall blog about what I've thought today so far. Interesting but lame.
9) Can't wait to leave my room.

And here I am with a really weird post. Nothing else to write now. You know what's going to happen next.

Shit. Lab report.

Chinese New Year

2007-02-23T00:58:00.000Z

It's the year of the PIG! I wonder if it's an excuse to eat lots and be lazy. Haha! I really wish I could but at the moment, it sure doesn't seem like it. I'm still bogged down with my lab report, computing project (which Xiufang has been doing it mostly and I haven't been contributing much), tutorials and other commitments. But anyway, work aside, it was a week spent with friends celebrating the New Year.

It feels different celebrating the New Year with your friends instead of your family. And it sure feels weird. And lonely. Just last week I met up with Andrea and her dad who flew to London carrying some new year goodies sent from my parents. One day later, it was all gone! Haha! No I didn't finish it all by myself. I shared it with my Linstead "family". I really didn't want to eat it alone, it'll make me miss home. Although I didn't get to eat much, but I rather feel happy eating my new year goodies than to sit alone in my room feeling lonely while eating.

On Friday night, the guys from aero and DSTA went over to Xiufang and Lipen's place to have their homemade glutinous rice balls, or tang yuan. Good effort with the nutella tang yuans! And it was really good to eat with all the chocalate oozing out when you munch on the tang yuan. Haha! Played some silly drinking games after that and had such a good laugh. Saw William that night too. Last time I saw him was at the ski trip, over 2 months ago. He asked me about her and I explained to him what happened. Seems like everyone still thinks there's something going on between me and her. Too bad. I can't be bothered about it. Even after our little chat, I didn't feel much about her and it didn't bring back memories whatsoever. Maybe that's a sign that I've more or less forgotten about her already. So that's good.

It so happen that night was Singsoc's Chinese New Year dinner. Over 120 members went to Chinatown in Leicester Square to have a nice meal in one of the restaurants. The food wasn't excellent but the atmosphere was definitely good! It was nice to see our Swiss friend, Stephan and his sister, Sarah, join us for this dinner. They have much to learn about our culture though. And chopsticks! Haha!

Over the weekend, I went over to Louis' place to stay. Erika and her cousin Anja also came by. We had a dinner before that organised by SUKA which stands for Singapore-UK association. My goodness. It was such a huge event! There were over 300 people in the restaurant and the guest-of-honour was the High Commissioner himself. They even flew in this actor from Singapore who dressed up as a drag queen that night and cracked lame but quite funny jokes. Don't think our caucasian counterparts got most of the jokes though. Pity. Haha! When we got home after the dinner, Melvin and Louis had this crazy idea to play night golf, but instead of the usual floodlights in Singapore golf courses, they painted golf balls with the liquid used in light sticks. Madness. We were trespassing and it was so freaking cold in the middle of the golf course at 2am in the morning! But it was such a funny experience. Don't know how many balls I lost that night. Haha! But it's all for fun anyway. Needed to do something crazy to get my mind off work. Haha!

So yup, story-telling over. That was my Chinese New Year. I wish I was back in Kuching with my family. But that'll have to to wait another 3 more years. As for now, enjoy some pictures.

My Linstead "family"!

Me, Xiufang and Ziyang at the Singsoc dinner.

Melvin, Louis, Erika and Anja at the SUKA Dinner.

Our golf experiment!

Cool isn't it? We made this with our
lightsticks and low shutter speed on
Louis' camera. Took us like 5 tries to
get picture perfect. Haha!

Whine!

2007-02-20T00:04:00.000Z

Ok, I know. I'm a guy. I really shouldn't be whining. But I need an outlet! Sheesh. It's another stressful week ahead and I'm so not looking forward to it. It all starts with this stupid lab report. I have 2 weeks to finish typing it out and I don't even know what I have to write in it. On top of that I've got countless number of tutorials to finish. Worst thing is that I don't even know how to do them. Figuring them out will take hours and I may not even get the answer. It's frustrating. Plus my fellow classmates are kind of stressing me out. The rate and way they do their work is scary. I'm trying very hard just to keep up with them and it's making me feel stupid. Before I forget, there's a computing project as well. Now, that has to be one of the worst ever projects that I've ever gotten in my life. I hate computing and now there's a PROJECT?! I just resign to my fate and move on with life.

Oh. Hang on. I'm not entirely done yet. There's still major event rehearsals with weekly band practices on Sunday evenings and combined rehearsals on Monday night. Being the band leader I have to coordinate with the band, the singers and the committee. I also need to organise a frisbee team for next weekend's London Games and to throw in some practice sessions as well. Not to mention that I'll be running the practice sessions as well when I'm only a beginner myself. Plus, I need to organise my Easter Holiday Trip. But that's something to look forward to and I can hardly wait for it to come. I need a break badly.

Can someone out there please relieve some of load and burden from me? I want OUT! I didn't ask for so many responsibilities (and homework as well) but I just get assigned them. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. The good thing is that people feel and think that you're capable and up for the job so they give it to you. The bad thing is that I've got too many and maybe I'm a pushover too? Sigh. I really don't know.

Some Chinese New Year this is. Stupid pig.

*I'll try to find some time to post my CNY pictures up. It's not much but it's quite amusing!

Delayed..

2007-02-08T23:12:00.000Z

Well. It finally happened.

Yes! It snowed in this wretched part of the world. Ok, maybe not WRETCHED, but I have to say it's still quite screwed up when it comes to the weather. It always provides a something to talk about between people and it's always interesting to know how accurate BBC and Yahoo! weather stations are. It seems that the only predictability of BBC's weather forecasts is it UNpredictability. As for this snow, both weather stations were consistent so I guess people were prepared for it.

Apparently NOT! I had a 9am lecture this morning and even after a horrid night of trying to sleep well, I woke up at 8am to attend lecture. It didn't even last 5min when a lady came into the lecture theatre announcing that my dear lecturer is "stranded" due to "adverse weather conditions". Simply amazing. But it proved to be a blessing in disguise. My friends and I took the opportunity to go to Hyde Park to have some fun in the snow. It was a good relaxation and everyone let down their hair behaving like kids again, away from the endless ending trail of tutorials and lectures.

There was something weird that I realised though. I come from a tropical country so seeing snow is definitely interesting and new. However, it seems that my caucasian counterparts seem to be excited about it too! I guess it must be very rare for snow to fall in London. The snow was so "interesting" that the whole class pissed the math lecturer off after 35min into an one hour lecture.

I didn't make it. Someone else did. I just took
credit for it. Haha!

I beat the 2 "shen-s" to this. Muahaha!

Bumped into Boris and Yvette who were on their
way to their tests and we managed to drag them
in for a quick picture! Everyone's happy that
there's snow.

Time heals all wounds

2007-02-02T01:26:00.000Z

It's been more than a week since she left and the effects are slowly wearing out. I guess it's good that I've been really busy the past few days trying to do my tutorials and coursework together with the planning of major event and band practices. Never expected planning band practices to take up so much time. I guess it's mainly a lack of coordination between the committee and the players. Oh well. I really hope everything goes well tomorrow(or rather today) at our first practice. There isn't much time left for us till the first combined rehearsal and I'm getting a little jittery, especially since I'm the band leader. Sigh.

I guess slowly but surely I'll forget her and start treating her like a friend again. I've been telling myself to do that and I think it's working. Funny thing is that when I talk to her, she treats me so cold. Not used to it because ever since I knew her she has never treated or talked to me this way. I guess things have really changed and I should really let go. I'm also beginning to realise that we do have different personalities and we probably won't be able to see eye to eye on certain things. Plus, she is gonna graduate this summer and I'll only be onto my second year. It would be really unfair to her if she got "tied down" to an undergraduate. So, I guess it's really good to let her go. It'll do us both good.

Now when I think about it, I just treat it as a pity. Nothing else.

I'm fickle.

I fall too easily.

And I hate myself for that.

A trip to North London!

2007-01-28T22:34:00.000Z

The weekend came as fast as it ended. Bleah! Definitely wasn't long enough for me. But then again, when was a weekend EVER long enough?! Hahaha! Anyway, I went to pay a visit to my very close and great family friends over in Radlett. It's my friend's mum's birthday on Saturday and I felt I should go pay them a visit since I haven't seen them since they day they helped my moved into my hall. Hahaha! I felt very guilty so I went over. It was a good break from central London and the air was definitely much clearer. Plus, there were trees and lots of greenery around! Things you don't get to see much around in stone-cold central London.

Anyway, my family friends are the Leongs. I have known them since...I was born. Yes. 22 years ago. I've been playing with them since 22 years ago and they are like family to me. Louis is the second son out of three and he's the closest to me because we're the same age. He's studying in King's College and we went over his mum's place together with his distant cousin Erika. There wasn't much to do at home so we played mahjong together with Jeremy(the youngest) and went to play Texas Hold'em. Played so much and into the wee hours of the morning that I went to bed and fell asleep immediately. Best night of sleep I've had in SO long because of all that's happened over the past few weeks (refer below if you don't know more or less what's going on).

On Sunday, the whole family except for Melvin(the eldest) went to play golf at Brocket Hall Golf Club where the Leongs' are members. Oh by the way, Mel just got his certification as doctor yesterday. He graduated from Cambridge. WOW. Nothing else to describe him. Hahaha! So yeah, back to the golf game. I haven't touched a golf club for like 5 months?! And I was thrown into a full 18 hole game, which we didn't really complete because it got dark at 5 so we skipped 2 holes. I had a decent game I suppose, had a couple of bogeys, the longest drive and I only lost 2 balls! Hahaha! For some reason I couldn't read the greens at all today. I guess it's just rustiness, hopefully.

After golf, we went to oriental city to have a nice chinese meal which was sort of ruined by lousy service and the lack of vegetable choice. The restaurant don't seem to stock up on their vegetables and it pissed my friend's mum off. The manager had this look which just says PUNCH ME all over his forehead. Wish I could just take out all my frustration on that guy but too bad, I'm a civilised person. Hahaha!

All in all, it was quite a good weekend and definitely a good sunday. I needed a break and I got one. Real happy about that. Now it's back to reality.

And more homework.

Me, Louis and Erika

Me teeing off at the last whole with the club
house in the background. Apparently the drive
went slightly over 300 yards. Hmmm.

I messed up..big time!

2007-01-26T23:09:00.000Z

Two weeks ago I had a chat with a friend of mine and I asked him how he went about chasing his girlfriend. Apparently, a lot of "tactics" were involved and he finally succeeded, beating a lot of other guys with better potential then him.

But that advice came too late. All along I haven't used ANY "tactics" whatsoever and it hasn't proven to be successful. At all. I'm rash, impatient and worst of all, emotional.

I like someone. But it seems, as of today, I lost her as quickly as I got to know her. That's me doing what I do best - screwing things that were perfect into things that are shit. I've been tactless and I totally regretted what I did.

I wish I can turn back the clock.

I wish we can go back to what we were last time when we first met.

But I know after all the wishing, things will never be the same. It's all my doing and I hate myself for that.

At least I have good memories I can keep with me. And that's why I didn't use the camera when you came over. Looking at pictures later on will just make the memories bad. I don't want that to happen. I just want to remember the memories the way it was.

Like how I held your hand.

How I held you in my arms.

And how I kissed you.

It's such a pity that I'm writing this to a blog and you may only get to read this much much later. That's assuming we even keep in contact.

Like I said before, I want out.

But yet, I still think of you.

This is a conflict of what my brain tells me to do and what my heart feels.

At least now I know I've got my friend's advice to rely on. Sigh.

My first post

2007-01-26T22:48:00.000Z

It's weird how I've decided to start blogging. All along I've been telling myself that i wouldn't have the determination and time to update my blog so I've been putting the idea off for a very long time. Today, out of boredom (and during a lesson in the computer lab too) and under the influence of a friend, I created my blog.

But I guess the REAL reason is loneliness. London is a very lonely place. My family isn't here with me. It's stifling and suffocating. The friends I've made here are no doubt my good friends, but they aren't my confidantes. I don't have anyone to confide with and I am someone who needs to get things out of my chest from time to time.

The past few weeks have been trying for me. Exams. Assignments. Due dates. Commitments. And matters of the heart.

I need out.

I need fresh air.

I need someone to be there.

I need to grow up.